Bikeless in Holland–An Oxymoron

Having hung up his cleats for 2015, The Wattmeister finds himself in Leidschendam which is situated on the outskirts of The Hague in Holland.

Bikeless, the days between Christmas and New Year are a difficult time for the semi-professional, Half-Jewish, one eighth Russian, former champion sprinter with severely restricted sight in his left eye and a slowly receding hairline (thank God his pate can’t sprint!).

Despite these physical advantages, The Wattmeister is always striving to be better. There is much competition in the over 50s age group of Muswell Hill Peloton in the shape of: Iron Mike. Faustino S, Killer Kay  (yesterday’s RP sprint winner), BigMig, Wizard, Dick the Miller, LongTom, Pistol and OldGreySocks.

Still, even such an apathetically driven individual as TW needs recovery time away from the bike in order to allow his body and mind to strengthen for the challenges of 2016.

Thus, after a day feeding the raging furnace of his metabolism with stroopwafel, appelgebak, olieballen and hagelslag, the evening is a time to chill in front of incomprehensible Dutch TV with the glamorous Wattmeisterin.

After a couple of Jonge Genevers, a traditional Dutch snifter, all the programmes seem to be broadcast in soft focus, one of which is almost an exact copy of The Great British Bake-Off. The presenters even look like Dame Mary Berry and Sir Paul Hollywood right down to the blue rinse and streaked highlights of their respective hairdos.

Who needs Brown Cafés and the fleshpots of Amsterdam? Hier is gezelig!






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