Madeira Cake Anomaly

Quote from Dan Martin at the end of the mountainous 19th stage of the Tour de France from Lourdes to Laruns, “…you saw a lot of tired men trying to race their bikes…”

Well, spare a thought for the equally tired spectators trying daily to watch every pedal stroke of this intriguing Tour.

The cushions on The Wattmeister’s sofa have been crushed into concave hollow after 21 days of racing (including 2 rest days). Each day starts with a short neutralised section of approximately 5 kms  where the commissar’s car guides the peloton through to the start proper.

And every day, The Wattmeister has attempted (and succeeded) in eating one of Sainsbury’s madeira cakes…..occasionally iced due to the hot conditions….whilst the riders negotiate this section…..a race within a race if you like….and this feat has been maintained on the aforementioned rest days.

The old saying goes, ” there is no rest (day) for the madeira cake eater.”

And, there is no prize for this prodigious achievement…..just like his other quests; to find the perfect headwind; to seek out the perfect Full English Breakfast….it is all done to make the world a better place….for the producers of madeira cake.

But now, with the 20th day of racing upon us, a hitherto unforeseen problem has occurred.  Tomorrow’s stage is an individual Time Trial over 31 kms. The riders will be released at one minute intervals and will not be forming a peloton at the start…..this means that there will be no neutralised zone in which to continue the madeira cake challenge,,,,and I might add that the cake has already been purchased.

What to do? Sensible suggestions please to





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